Emptying the Emptiness

Have you ever felt isolated, lost, missing? Have you been left with tears, anxiety, depression? We, as human beings – “the race with so-called sixth sense” tend to over-think which results in the outburst of multiple emotions. Our ancestors had a healthy lifestyle and perfect balance between work and life which we miss today. Expectations are growing day by day that we fail to live the moment chasing our dreams. But what are the reasons for our fear, anxiety and loneliness in life?

Many a times, I had felt empty too. I often get frustrated about the mechanical life that I live as well. Although I have a supporting family, I have as well felt down and isolated. On one such instance, I had an interaction with one of my friends on whom I had built my trust. We were then talking about our interests, work, family and so on. He said “It is not selfish to do what you like, to explore your interests and develop something which keeps you happy. If you’re more aligned towards others and their interests, you may end up remaining stressed.  Why do you feel empty? Try to empty the emptiness, if you know what I mean!” he said. He knew that I like writing blogs and he asked “Why don’t you write something? Maybe it makes you feel better”.

That evening after our conversation, I started pondering on all the little things we talked about. I started questioning myself “Why do I feel lonely? Why do I feel stressed? Am I not living for myself?” Although not completely, I started getting partial answers. “I feel lonely at times because I do not live for my interests. I am a people’s person and long for people around me. I get easily worried that people may mistake or misunderstand me. I get worried that I do not have too many friends. Especially while in Business trips, maybe the thought of being away from my family upsets me. But is there something I could do about it? Do I get better just by regretting or even shedding tears?” I asked myself.

On the other hand, not everyone whom you approach would understand your inner feelings. Not everyone who smiles at you can be your best friend. It is often necessary to build a trust and share your experiences with that one friend whom you feel comfortable talking to. Yes, as my friend said I tried looking for some interests within me. I remember, I started writing small articles while I was in Standard three. My English teachers had many a times told me that I should develop the art of writing. But I cared not so much about it. But yes, it makes me feel very light, the moment I throw my thoughts in my writings.

I started reading one of my blogs “From a working woman’s heart” which recently had many comments and messages from readers. I felt good and read the comments over and over again. I listened to my all time favorite Maestro Ilayaraja’s songs and pondered the lyrics of some of my favorite songs. Of course, songs are mood changers too. I watched some videos of cute kids with pet dogs and felt fresh. I went out for a long walk without knowing my destination. I watched the bright lights, heard the church bell, listened to the bark of the dogs, smiling kids and so on. With a serenity of the mind, I came back home. “Do I feel lonely?” I asked myself. My mind answers “There are a thousand ways to empty the emptiness in life. Just find the one that you love”.

Thanks to my friend who made me realize this truth in life!