Ting, Ting, Ting – beeped my mobile. “This Women’s day put your foot in style @ ABC shoes – Get flat 20% off” stated a message. “This Women’s day, dine at ABC restaurant and win Rs 5000 GV” stated another. “Special Women’s health check packages. Exclusively for you on Women’s day. Upto 50% off” stated yet another. What’s so special about women? Why is this day hyped a lot? I asked myself!
Isn’t it contradictory to what we hear about Women from men generally? Men often complain on a typical woman’s behavior! We often see a lot of jokes and critics passed on women. Men vs Women have always remained a debatable topic. Then why do we celebrate women? Ironical!! I told myself.
Let’s analyze certain situations which most of us come across in our lives.
Shopping – A husband and wife go for shopping. The woman tries every dress she likes and asks her man “Is this good on me?” and he nods or comments. I have discussed such situations with both my male and female friends.
Male thought – She has an issue if I say it looks nice on her. She says “I am just nodding for everything”. She also gets annoyed if I say it doesn’t suit her. She asks “Am I not pretty? Is this not good on me?”
Female thought – He never acknowledges me. He simply nods and doesn’t tell me in detail about how this suits me! He is not interested in any little things that I am interested!
Work – Let’s now think about situations at work.
Male thought – Let’s not task her heavily. It must be difficult for her to manage as a woman.
Female thought – My male colleagues are not providing opportunities to me as I’m a woman.
Male thought – Let’s share the workload.
Female thought – He does not have concern over me. I have a little child and need to manage home and office and these colleagues are burdening me.
I have always seen opposite thoughts floating in, in such situations.
Let’s now imagine a female-female thought in the society.
Female 1 – I just don’t know how she is taking up assignments that requires traveling. Is she not concerned about her family or child? I cannot do this anytime!
Female 2 – I just don’t know why she works? She is money minded! Can’t she be happy with her husband’s earnings?
Female 3 – I just don’t know why people hurt me? Aren’t priorities different for different people?
Let’s now talk about feminists
All men are bad. Men are torturing women in our country. We do not have enough freedom to do what we want!
Let’s now talk about anti-feminists
Women take an advantage and hurt men. Even the law has a soft corner for women and men are harassed.
These are all commonly faced situations in everyday’s life. What’s that which makes these situations common? Of course, this appears to be a design feature by nature! You could call it a design enhancement or a design flaw or a design defect – depending on the level of positivity or negativity you claim for this.
I am never going to take the side of a woman or a man in this topic. Not that I want to play safe 😉 but it is also because I personally have listened to male and female friends in real serious situations and life stories. While I was talking to a friend, he did mention about the solution oriented men and emotion oriented women. We had a long discussion when he did mention, “How should I react when my wife says I feel better with talking? Will talking solve the issue? Aren’t we supposed to find a real solution for the issue rather than talking about it?” I felt his statement was valid.
Being a woman, many a times I have wanted to feel heard. All that I wanted was to talk. But that’s not how a male brain understands it. This is definitely not a mistake from either sides. It’s the way nature has designed it. But I have also seen solution oriented women and emotion oriented men!
A woman often pours out her emotions in the form of tears. “Is she crying? Oh crazy woman’s hormones! She must be on her PMS!” says one. “It’s hard to understand these women! They react for every little thing” says another. It is ridiculous at times for every tear of a woman being branded as “just another hormonal change!” However it is upto us to turn each such situation positively and break the myth too. It just requires training of our mind!
A husband and wife enters into an argument mode. The woman usually pours out all emotions such as anger, sadness, tears. In most cases the final question from her man would be “Now what do you want me to do?” This statement hurts the woman. However after the discussion with my friend, I am able to relate this very well. When a man asks “Now what do you want me to do?” it really means that he asks “what is the solution”. A lot of times we mistake this statement and feel hurt and broken.
However I also know women who are really strong bearing all the pain in life. I know women who show no emotions at work and continue battling! A woman capable of handling home and work well. One leaves behind a sick child. One is sick herself and is undergoing treatment. One is sick of pregnancy. One is undergoing the agony of not having a child. One is crying for the lost baby in her womb. One is tired of searching for a groom. One is the sole bread winner of the family. One is the only daughter or daughter in law who has sick parents or parent in laws. One lives with a husband who never understands her pain. One lives with grown up kids who don’t respect her. There she is, wearing a smile always on her face and energetically working.
On the contrary, I also know women who keep cribbing about life and also excusing themselves at work for every little situation. Some even take advantage of being a woman!
To all the men out there, “Don’t stereotype a woman; Not all of us are the same!”
To all the women out there, “Do we really need to curse men on how they treat us? Aren’t we responsible for our actions in life? Aren’t we responsible for what we want to be?” We as women should pledge not to bring our personal emotions or excuses at work. This is the least we could do to bring the change in our environment. A woman is capable to be stronger emotionally and mentally! Remember, excuses are only for those who need them! Don’t be one!
Do you feel broken or upset? It’s ok to feel bad once in a while! Experience it but come out of it. Rather than brooding into it, try to take it as a challenge and be bold!
One has to thoroughly analyze the situations and decide for themselves to be strong. The moment we break the myths of the so-called “typical women behavior” is the real celebration of Woman’s day! No one can degrade you unless you want to feel degraded. Break the myth, do wonders and achieve greatly in life! Do not give excuses that men are dominating!
Above all, every situation is capable of being handled by you in your own way! At the end, it’s how you live it, how you face it and how you solve it and not a man or woman thing!
Challenge the life that challenges you! Be a Fe-Male – an Iron man!