In love with Annoyance!

“My mother in law and I have a Cold War. She always tries to prove me wrong on everything. There is no peace of mind at home!”. “He is always treating me as a competition. He taunts me and pulls me down all the time. There is so much politics at work. People just try to push others down and want to grow!” “I feel so disturbed and unable to concentrate. Worried and angry on why people are unfair”. I have heard many of these statements from my friends and also personally experienced some situations myself. 

There had been situations when I was disturbed and felt bad about it. My mind would react emotionally and I feel hurt. It’s a start phase and once I enter into it, the darkness and gloomy thoughts creep in. They’d onboard my mind with all their friends fear, anxiety, frustration, tears, pain and so on. The pain would not heal but rather get worse as you start pondering deeply at times.

I carefully dissected my mind. Let me separate my mind by segregating the happy and sad thoughts for a while. I grouped love, friendship, fun, joy, success and the situations and people that led to those nice moments. These moments are lifetime memories that I have been collecting. 

The people associated with each of those lovely moments are my besties at home, work etc. I feel good to talk to them even after a long time gap. How happy I feel when I still talk to Divya, my ex colleague? We don’t talk frequently these days but how my heart and mind smiles just thinking of her name? How green are my memories with Durga,  my kinder garten mate. The PT classes, the picnic, exams, discussions on relationships and what not! How happy did I feel to see the first picture of her baby! How much respect do I have for Sathis, my mentor. The reasoning answers that tickle my mind to think, the advice and suggestions that he gives, open feedback and discussions – a true well wisher of mine! Christoph – a tough lead but a great mentor too. Harshness in his words have always meant only to correct me and groom me. The honest opinions and open discussions make me think in a different dimension and I’m still learning from him. My family – my destiny. My loving parents, siblings and daughter – who knows me thick and thin; who knows my downside and still loves me; who cares and understands me. My husband – more than a husband, a greater friend and my work mentor is he. Discussions on work and dealing with people, his guidance is always helpful. Had spent my life with all these lovely people around me!

My second dissected mind has quite some disturbing thoughts. Annoying situations, irritating moments, tears, fights, arguments, frustration. How many times had I felt hurt by people in school, college and work? Each time when I was in such a situation, I have approached my friends or mentors and expressed my heart felt feelings which is fine. Sometimes I move on and sometimes not. Discussing about problems and solutions is fine. But most of the times we feel carried away by the negative thoughts that we fail to reach a solution. 

How many times have we been upset by our in laws in life? How many days we speak about this and cry? How many times have we been pissed off by our colleagues or managers? We feel disturbed and worried and lose our charm! We may be happy with a lot of others and cherish 80 percent happiness. We cannot avoid the 20 percent frustrating moments in life. But what do we do? We brood over the 20 percent annoying situations and make ourselves feel that we have a bad life. Our sub conscious mind believes that we are going through a worst situation all the time and gets depressed. We cannot always avoid noise or pollution! So is the same with external disturbing people in life!

Imagine a buzzing bee in a calm room when you sleep. The buzz is irritating once you start paying attention to it. By doing it, you are giving it unnecessary hype and create a heroism around it. You lose the peaceful night and rest. Did you think of the 99% calmness of the void room? Had you concentrated on the calmness, you must have had a meditating sleep. It’s no different in our lives. We would always have little disturbances and noises around us all the time. It is upto us to decide if we want to concentrate on the calmness or noise! 

Most of the times our mind decides to fall in love with annoyance and disturbance – be it a frustrating mother in law or a frictional boss! It’s unknown love and that’s the reason we keep thinking about them all the time than your soul mates 😉. Remember the sleepless nights thinking about your MIL or boss?? Don’t get carried away but think of the true love you see from the well wishers, friends and family around you! Love or like is a different topic but love or like the right people or the right situation is your choice!

Falling in love with annoyance isn’t a right choice!