Life is not a bed of roses and we know this! Have you been in situations when you feel stabbed, hurt, broken? If the answer is no, then I wonder if your mind and heart functions. Probably even the coolest person on Earth also faces all this at some point in time.
Have you seen sadistic persons who least bother about their surroundings and people? Often they hurt people emotionally and mentally. They pass sarcastic comments and disrespect others. You feel frustrated everytime you have a conversation with them. A lot of negativity starts flowing and you feel down when they are around. These kind of people can be found everywhere – in private and professional life. How to deal with people like them?
Imagine you are in a private meeting with one such person and he sarcastically talks about your private life. Imagine you are at work and a colleague or superior sarcastically passes a comment and you feel less respected. Imagine your mother in law taunts you and your family. Imagine your colleague commenting on your style of work. Do you often feel victimised in such situations? Do you pity yourself for being hurt? Have your pillows been wet thinking of all injustice that happened to you and you believe you don’t deserve this unfairness in life?
I also feel this happens to me not just once but many times. While I was talking to a friend about this, he replied “Subha, why are you always asking the ‘Why’ questions that why people are unfair to you? Rather why don’t you think what do you want to do about it!” I was in a torn state already and couldn’t accept it at that moment. However after sleeping over this thought for a night, I could visualise what was happening deep within me.
The feeling of being lost killed my liveliness. I had lost my smile. I wasn’t able to digest what was happening around me. I was angry, upset, tired and started feeling depressed. Is this the state I wanted to be? Is this the reason why I fought difficult times in life and kept my smile on? Is this the reason why I was always seen as a positive person?
Did I feel victimised? Can someone victimise me without my consent? My mind was curious to know! I’m a very friendly person and kind to all. This is me and this is how people view me. I do not like to hurt others even in my words. That’s typically me. But also this nature of mine transforms me to be a victim in some situations.
Often my mind wanders around situations that is unfair and questions “How can people be so mean?” So this thought was wandering in my mind permanently. In this situation, I fail to notice that this is nothing that’s going to help me. It’s the actions that I need to perform that’s going to lead me to solutions. Do I need to quickly recover myself by finding a way out or just do a post mortem of the situation? Proactive surgery is better than suffering death! How true is this??
What should I do now? Jump into actions! Well if I cannot save myself, how could I expect someone to save me when I’m in danger? Flight, fright and fight are the three weapons that nature has provided us. It is upto us to choose our own ways.
Flight – Do I want to ignore, run away and avoid the situation to keep myself happy?
Fright – Do I need to get afraid and keep calm so that people don’t come to me?
Fight – Do I pick a weapon and directly target the ones who target me?
Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds to pick one of them! However regretting and brooding on the situation doesn’t help too!
I started turning my tears into fuel to keep the fire within me. The more one makes me feel lower, it is only good to me because my tears are now fiery. The burning flame gets me going to where I want to. I wouldn’t give up but rather get ignited by these people around me. I’m a person who can stand up for myself. I don’t have to stay diplomatic and get beaten always! Disrespectful people do not need to be respected. This may sound harsh but this is the reality. Self respect is more important than killing yourselves each moment being a victim.
The lesson to be learnt is how not to lose the calm but also keep the fire burning within you! That’s an art. It’s extremely difficult to get there but there needs to be a start! This is just the beginning!
1 thought on “Fiery Tears”
Ya… its difficult to get there… need to learn that art. Very important for life!