Incidents causing Accidents

Incidents in life can be accidents. On the other hand, incidents on the head can also cause serious accidents. 2003 March 11 am – Heard someone on the neighborhood cry out loud. I was in my twelfth standard then. I peeped out of our Main gate and saw a huge crowd before our opposite house. When inquired, people said “Mr. Suresh has passed away in an Accident in the bye pass road over Porur lake”. I was shocked. I was not able to recollect Mr. Suresh. However I knew Mrs. Suresh very well. She was a vibrant lady with high energy and loud voice. She would talk to me about her 2 sons and their education. They were in primary school then. My mind was wandering about the kids and the young lady and their future. A week later I heard that Mr. Suresh learnt about his younger brother’s wife’s extra marital affair with someone. He warned her but the lady eloped. He was upset about his brother’s life. It was the same day morning, that he heard the lady was found somewhere near Koyambedu and he rushed to get hold of her and this mishap happened. Of course, it is pitiable situation on his brother, however Mrs. Suresh had to pay a big fine for no fault of hers. She struggled a lot to bring up her kids after he passed away.

Tonight 7 pm – I had a personal work and was driving my two wheeler on the busy Outer Ring Road. The tempo behind me was honking badly. I realized, I was probably out of my senses for a fraction of a second and got back. I finished my outside work and came home by 9 pm. My mind was pre-occupied by some random thoughts. I was just rewinding my thoughts. Why did the tempo guy honk? What happened to me for the fraction of a second when I felt blank? What if I was out of senses for a long time while driving?

I could feel the hot gush of blood flow on my veins. I understood that my mind was pre-occupied by thoughts which were disturbing me. Probably some tension, interaction with people, their perception and so on. I carefully started analyzing. Are all that worth spending my brain on? What would have happened, if my mind went blank for few minutes on the road? Probably I would have met with a mishap like Mr. Suresh?

For a few minutes, I continued my thoughts. Knowing it would be harsh imagination, I still continued. Yes, my poor little daughter crying or remaining blank without knowing what happened to her mom. My parents in unrecoverable grief. My better half in tears. My siblings in pain. And many of my good friends and relatives in sadness. Is that all about it?

On the contrary, there may even be a group who may celebrate this with sweets from borrowed money, even if they didn’t have any. There maybe a bunch of people who will still be sorry for me and my family.

I came back to my current situation. What was that which was bothering me so much that I had to lose my sense on the road even for a fraction of a second? Is that worth all this? Probably I was hurt by people’s perception over me? Probably I was hurt by people’s attitude towards me? Probably I was hurt by people’s comment over me? I remembered, these people are probably the ones who will not get impacted even if a mishap happens to me. Perhaps, these people maybe from the category of few who even celebrate over my downfall. Are these perception or people’s attitude going to change if a mishap happened? In fact no one would even know that I was upset and lost my senses on the road causing this mishap.

Many a times, our minds get stressed with thoughts, frustration, depression and anxiety due to certain incidents in life. The incidents maybe related to family, extended family, in-laws, colleagues, friends etc. But most of the times, if one can collate such incidents, it is often not related to your immediate family members. But the fact is, it is only your family who would suffer without you. Even your team may find a replacement for you but not your children. Even your in-laws wouldn’t know the pain, but your parents would.

Incidents cause accidents most of the times. Always remember that the reason behind your frustration maybe something or someone who is not going to cry over your grave. My family will definitely get upset reading this blog. They may even ask me to stop driving. However the reason for this share is, there are quite many of you who are sailing on the same boat as mine. 

Next time, before even letting some thought into your mind, reflect on this incident. Is it worth making my mind dumb? It is worth of all my family struggle? It may be a simple thing. Maybe Mother-in-law showing her domination over you. Maybe a person who was envying on you next door. Maybe a bad performance rating. Maybe your colleague’s perception over you. Does this have to get into our minds and cause mishaps to us and our beloved?

Refresh your mind. Maybe thinking about your daughter’s first smile; your son’s first walk; your dad’s words of motivation; your mom’s endless love; your husband’s soothing words; your siblings lovely chats. They should not pay a big price for something else sitting on your head.

Incidents and Accidents could be unavoidable. But let us put an end to Incidents causing Accidents.