The Angry Indian

“Shh shh.. Shanmuga Kaapathappa” (Lord Muruga, help us) – my 85 year old grandpa was often chanting. He was getting restless at night and also worried a lot. Most of the times he wasn’t sleeping. “What’s happening with you?” “I’m afraid, I’m afraid” – he often stated. We discussed within our family and finally decided to take him for a counselling session.

Since I had a close connection with a psychiatrist, I took him there and explained the scenario. After quite a number of questions, my grandpa spoke up – “Sir, I’m afraid the society is losing its culture. I was a small businessman in a little town and had hand written notes for everything. I saved little by little and also sent all details to the bank. I’m proud about my wife as she is a confident and educated person. She was the pillar of my family and brought up my siblings and kids. All my kids are settled and grandkids too. But when I read news and watch TV, I’m afraid the world is changing. People are claiming falsely and cheating banks. My friend told that a urad dhal business man put up few sacks of dhal and other sacks of mud and got huge loan from bank. People are not true. I’m afraid my generation is over and there is no one left to save the values.” He touched my heart and tears rolled down my cheeks.

After some advice from the doctor, we came home. My grandpa was talking about his good old times and the ethics while we came back home.

My dad who ran a small scale business was no different to my grandpa. Every small account was written in his notebook and taken to the auditor. While he was in his transport business long time ago, people mocked him stating “everyone takes more money home and he’s the one spending on maintenance and taxes”. When he lost a big time in business, people were amazed by the way he was clearing the debts without cheating even a rupee. “Ethical values should not be lost but money can” was his advice to us always.

“Never speak ill of anyone. Always be truthful. Life can be lived even with the smallest earning. God has given us life and we need to understand that happiness can be achieved with all standards of living” – mom always taught us. Amidst all fights and financial situation, we grew up as a loving family with strong ethics.

When I was new to my first job and called my mom, my dad would get the phone and tell me “Isn’t it your office time? Aren’t you supposed to work. You can talk to us later”. While I discuss about uncomfortable topics at work, mom would only say “Time would come when it has to. Just be straight forward and speak your heart”.

We were taught what hospitality is. We learnt to greet everyone, be it a janitor or a principal. We were taught to call our maids as “Akka” which meant sister. Mom never discriminated anyone but taught us to treat everyone with love and respect.

“Never mock anyone. You do not know what others go through. Everyone has their struggles in life and hence respect them equally. Never pull down anyone for you do not know how it hurts unknowingly. If you do a mistake and you know it, apologise and make sure you don’t do it again” mom reminded us many times. She told us her childhood stories, how people treated and helped each other.

As we grew up it sometimes became hard for us to be a part of the changing society. My sister couldn’t accept even a small dishonest act elsewhere. She spoke up openly and a perception was built upon her as an “arrogant person”. She quit her job due to personal reasons too. Although a lot of perceptions were built upon her, she never lost her ethics and honesty.

It was similar to my brother too. He often told us about incidents in his personal and professional life but we just move on. He relates to unethical activities happening today in India but also fondly tells us about the ethical experiences.

I’m genuinely happy for someone when they grow up; I’m definitely angry when someone lies – be it work or home; I’m caring for people around – be it a janitor or an MD! – finally, it’s all moms lessons!

My cousin Siva often gets frustrated and annoyed and asks me “aren’t we unfit to live in this world. Isn’t it our parents mistake to have grown us like this? We cannot make great careers or a progressing life!” I just tell him “our actions just define who we are and be proud of this”.

My juniors at work sometimes laugh at me calling me “a person from Jurassic era” and sometimes they told me “your kind of people are extinct” – I don’t answer but only keep living my way!

During my client visits, the hospitality shown and results demonstrated were taken as “simply a show off or buttering” by other teams. I was worried – not for getting such a perception but for them losing the Indian culture and tradition. We have “hospitality” deeply rooted in our culture and that’s exactly what we showed. I was worried for the culture of seeing the good in each other has disappeared in today’s generation. I was worried for the negative thoughts of people who probably thought things could be achieved just by pleasing someone or faking up things.

I was worried for people lost the tradition of learning from each other which was taught in Gurukula in India. “When there is good, learn from each other” – wasn’t this the motto in our schools for having groups. “Affirmations” – wasn’t this followed in our schools to come up and talk well of each other.

“India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love my country. I’m proud of its rich and varied heritage” – did we not take a pledge every morning? Did we not learn to accept the differences and appreciate our diversity?

“I shall always strive to be worthy of it. I shall give my parents, teachers and all elders respect and treat everyone with courtesy” – Weren’t we taught to treat everyone equally, with respect and care, without any differentiation of caste, creed, culture, social status, nationality or language?

“To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion. In their well being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness” – weren’t we taught to be genuinely be happy for each other’s prosperity and wellness? When did the concept of enmity, hatred, competition come to us?

My grandpa is worried about losing the culture and ethical values and there are still some of us who strive to bring it up. I’m not sure if we will be successful in this journey but failures are not going to change us.

I’m angry when someone calls India corrupted; I’m angry when someone calls India an unethical country; I’m angry when someone calls India a deceiving country; I’m angry when someone calls India a dishonest country.

The angry Indian in me cannot change anything. I will only continue being the old schooled, Jurassic age person with my hospitality, culture, care and honesty. India doesn’t become good or bad – it just depends on how you want to shape its future!