Jasmine – expecting a baby soon. Today was her last working day in office before she starts her maternity. A short and sweet temp farewell to her – “Best wishes for a safe delivery!” everyone said. “Don’t worry; Just relax and take it as it comes” care and concern from her team mates.
As I sat in the opposite cubicle hearing the lovely messages from nice people, tears rolled down my cheeks. Didn’t understand why! “It’s been three months here and I don’t feel a newbie!” is what I kept telling myself all this while. Walking around with fond smile, greeting people and talking – I felt I knew many now. Little did I understand, the lonely me here.
“Shopping at Forum and SKC tomorrow” Lisha uttered. “Bidding farewell to Subha before she goes on maternity” Amulya excited. Walking towards different sections at SKC, Amulya was rather excited than me. “Subha, you can buy this pram; you can buy this toy; you can buy this teether” she exclaimed seeing every little thing. As we smiled and walked down the stairs, I turned about to say something to Aparna and I was about to slip. “Ohhhhhhhhhh” shouted the girls! “I’m alright” I smiled. “My heart just came out for a second” Amulya again. I winked. “Mom and baby bunny; here is the gift” she stretched her arms. The soft toy still remains at home even after nine years now. My little Bunny grew to be a lovely girl and nine years have flown. “Divya aunty” was unknown to my daughter in the womb then and now well known that mom is incomplete without her!
Second maternity event – a year back. My homeground ITI department. As I walked and smiled, lovely faces greeting me “Have a safe delivery Subha”, “Awaiting your Junior”, “Best wishes”. “You will be missed” – it was my dear friends Satheesh and Mummu. “Let me know if you need herbs from native after delivery” – care and concern from Siva. “Subha, looking forward to see you soon” – a brother at work Jagan. True friends at work with no expectation in return!
“You are a strong woman and enjoy with your junior. Come back with a josh!” my mentor Vinod. “Relax and forget work” yet another mentor Sunil. I smiled and waved goodbye.
A year has flown and my little bunny turned one last week.
“What made me emotional while people greeted Jasmine?” Well, memories rewound to the past. My home ground at work that remained close to my heart for four years has become a neighbor. My home ground a decade back has become distant. Very good friends are definitely missed and this situation today has reminded me of the lovely memories to be cherished.
My women gang at IBM – we are scattered yet united. I smile when I think of their names and so do they! Kerala, Andhra, Karnataka, Tamil Nadu – our mini South Indian gang. Life changes a lot but not our friendship.
ITI friends – just a km away and I run now and then for them. Genuine caring friends at work that life has gifted me with.
“Who is my best friend here?” I ask myself – “Am I a fish out of water?”. It’s not the people, it’s not the system to blame for. Acceptance is definitely there but integration takes time for sure. You cannot invade a place or people until you accept mutually. Never knew the lonely person within me, although I preferred to be a loner.
“Don’t battle with your thoughts. Just move on with the flow – there is a time when this becomes a home too!” my mind smiles.
“Who is my best friend here?” I ask myself – “Look at the mirror and you find one!” I smiled.
